Men Are Like :

• bananas - the older they get, the less firm they are.
• bank accounts - without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
• bike helmets - handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
• buttons - they're always popping off at the wrong time
• caterpillars - they got where they are by a lotta crawling
• character actors - when they show any character, they're acting
• chocolate bars - sweet, smooth and they usually head right to your hips.
• coffee - the best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night.
• colds - you can never get rid of the bad ones in a hurry
• cookies - underneath, most are just plain crumbs
• coolers - load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
• copiers - you need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
• crowbars - they're not much to crow about, but that doesn't bar anything
• crystal - some look real good, but you can still see right thru them
• curling irons - they're always hot, and they're always in your hair.
• drips - you can hear them, but you can't turn them off
• dry cleaners - most work fast and leave no ring
• fish - they keep getting into trouble when they can't keep their mouths shut
• flowers - they're often potted
• goats - they just love to butt in
• government bonds - they take so long to mature.
• high heels - they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
• instant coffee - easy to make
• lava lamps - fun to look at, but not all that bright.
• lilac - most can lie like anything
• magicians - they can turn almost anything into an argument
• mascara - they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
• mini skirts - if you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.
• newborn babies - they're cute at first, but you get tired of cleaning up their crap.
• old car tires - balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.
• parking spots - the good ones are taken, and the rest are too small.
• place mats - they only show up when there's food on the table.
• rivers - the largest part is their mouths
• shag carpets - soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.
• soap operas - they're fun to watch, but don't believe everything you hear.
• theories - they hardly ever work
• trucks - so much of the time, they have a load on
• vacuum cleaners - they're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.
• wheelbarrows - they all need to be pushed